Favourite Memory... Trinidad

So all of the Trinidad trip was pretty great, but if I had to pick a favourite it would have to be our trip to the pitch lake. We left my grandparent's house pretty early that morning with a driver my grandfather had hired for us. The first thing I noticed when we got in the car was that there was no seatbelts. The second was that the brakes were screeching louder than anything I've ever heard. Before we started our journey from the north end to the south end we made a quick stop in Port of Spain. At which point I told my dad he needed to pull out the seatbelts as I wasn't in the mood to die that day. Only able to locate 2 of the 3 seatbelts my mom ended looping her's into Sara's for safety and off we went. The first part of the day was great. We went to the pitch lake and had a very informative walking tour. (The Pitch Lake is a lake of natural asphalt located at La Brea in southwest Trinidad. ) Later that morning we headed to the mall and did the majority of our sovenior shopping. From there we were suppose to go visit my dad's aunt for a while before heading home. Unfortuneately, that was just not meant to be. It all started out with one missed turn. As soon as we left the mall all the driver had to do was making a left turn and we would have continued on as planned. Instead we went straight as Mr. Brown (the driver) knew a short cut. I'm not sure of the exact definition of the word short cut because generally in my opinion that does not mean the trip should take an additional four hours (thank God Mr. Brown was not being paid hourly). The upside to our adventure was that we got to cover most of Trinidad, during our time with Mr. Brown, the downside was that we got to cover most of Trinidad with Mr. Brown. After running us off the road onto someone lawn, my confidence in Mr. Brown started to waiver. The next almost two accidents and getting lost 3 addtional times while lost did not help anything. The one thing I can confidently say is I will never forget my time with Mr. Brown.

My Thoughts... on Family Reunions

I love family reunions. We have one of those as seen in the movies, people don't really do that, who are all these crazy people kind of reunions. We have the egg and spoon race, the musical chairs, the inappropriately dressed girlfriend of a cousin and the insanely delicious homemade food. It's always a lot of fun and makes me appreciate how great our family truly is. We do one every two years and each time it's in a different location. This year it was in Trinidad and I had a blast. There's something about feeling and knowing you're loved by people you don't even know exist that hard to describe. You get there and everyone knows what you've been doing and what's been going on in your life and telling you they remember cuddling with you when you were just a baby and it's a really great feeling. One of the more interesting aspects of our reunions are some of the different "lectures" or talks that we have. This year a presentation was given on our medical history and another was given on financial planning. It's great to know we want each other to succeed and care about what's going on with one another. I have to say I truly love my family and feel blessed and privileged to be a part of such a great one.

Jonas Brothers = O.K. in my books

So, Sara and I did end up going to the Jonas Brothers concert. To make a long story short, I searched and searched for those stupid tickets everywhere. After spending 4 hours on craigslist I decided to check out kijiji. The first ad I saw I gave them a call and the lady had 3 tickets she had bought because of her 6 year old that no longer felt like going and was willing to sell them for whatever she paid for them. We call ticketmaster and it was as easy as transferring her tickets from her credit card to mine. There I am 2 hours later sitting on the lawn with Sara and Daniel for under $100. Sara was thrilled, she got her concert t-shirt and I officialy snagged the "best sister of the year (ever) award".

My Thoughts... on Marriage

Three of my best friends are getting married this summer. As long as they are happy, I'm happy for them. I'm actually going to be in the bridal party for one of them and it's made me think a lot about the institution and what my opinions on it are. So I started asking myself some questions and this is what I found:

What is my first thought when it comes to marriage?

I think Mae West said it best, ""Marriage Is a Great Institution, but I'm Not Ready for an Institution Yet. "

Do I actually want to get married?

Sure (some day in the very (very, very) distant future)

Do I believe a marriage can last in this day and age?

Absolutely (trust me, if my parents can make it work anyone can)

How will I know when I'm ready to get married?

A co-worker and I were talking about marriage and when I said I'm totally not ready to be married anytime soon because I'm not ready to be tied down or be responsible for anyone else but myself, she couldn't have agreed more. She said that if that's how I'm looking at it, as though it's a burden, I'm definitely not ready. She went on to explain she knew she needed to marry her husband when after years of being together, she couldn't wait to get home to him, to talk to him, to see him. When she couldn't imagine coming home to anyone else. When doing the things she'd never liked before was no longer a pain but a joy because she knew how much it would bless him to have all his socks tucked away properly or that special pie for dessert. When making him happy made her happy and vice versa is when she knew they were ready to get married. I thought that was great, the way she made it sound, you could tell she was married to her best friend and couldn't be happier. I'm sure there is no set way to determine when you're ready to get married, but there are a million ways to tell when you're not.

I personally don't believe that marriage is something that is right for everyone and I definitely don't believe that 'gun-shot wedding' is always (or ever) the answer for certain situations. I think the reason why so many marriages fail today is that people don't enter it with a "failure-is-not-an-option" attitude. It's more like "we'll-give-it-a-try-and-if-it-doesn't-work-out-we'll-get-a-divorce" way of thinking. I'm sure all marriages require work and attention as a key to success. When you start on the right foot of making the decision that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person and have put in the proper time and thought in making that decision your chances for happy marriage can only be increased. When the decision to marry is rushed or something you feel pressured into, I'm positive, that doesn't help your chance for survival. I don't even like to be rushed to place an order at a restaurant, I can't imagine what it is like for people who feel rushed into a marriage. I'm of the opinion that should you and another person enter into a sexual relationship, you should be pretty darn certain that spending the rest of your life attached to them is a possibility. Does that mean if you get pregnant you must marry them? Not at all, it means should you get pregnant be aware that this person may become a permanent part of your life. I simply can't believe that if you get pregnant you must marry the father of the child. I know for a fact that children benefit from having two parents in their lives that love them, but that doesn't mean they have to be married to each other. If someone makes you totally miserable and brings out the worst in you, because you may have made the wrong (and stupid) decision of sleeping with them, you don't have to multiply the wrong (and stupid) choices by now marrying them. I've seen families were the parent's openly hate each other and staying together for the kids couldn't be more wrong.

Okay, I can see I'm beginning to ramble on and because I have a million and a half thoughts, I'll have to continue on another day. If I didn't cut myself off soon I would end up writing the night away and that (trust me) would make me even more unbearable on a Friday, when I know I'm working overtime on the Saturday (is there possibly a sadder occurrence in the world than having to work on a Saturday?? (I think not!))

That's just my thoughts for now, but you can bet that won't be the last you hear on the subject from me!

The F**king Jonas Brothers

My 10 year old sister is in love with the Jonas Brothers. She has decided that she will one day marry Nick Jonas. I've never minded her obsession with them as up until recently they hadn't been all over the place. Since, Camp Rock came out 14 days, I've probably which the bloody thing 20 times (and believe me it wasn't worth watching the first time). They now have there own television show which basically shows you a day in their lives and to be honest I'm all for reality t.v., but to watch the same episode every single time it's aired, I think is deserving of the Best Sister Ever Award in and of itself. When she found out they were coming to Toronto, she begged to go to the concert, I (of course) stepped up and said if we got tickets I would go with her (simply because I didn't think either of my parents would make it through). I went Ticketmaster to purchase the tickets and was pleasantly surprised to see the price ranged from $20-$50, truthfully, compared to the tickets I buy, I thought it was a bargain. That was until I tried to purchase them and found the concert was completely sold out. Ticketmaster has this link (trying to be helpful as always (major sarcasm there)) to a site that may have some tickets available. I click on it thinking if it's not that bad I'll purchase my 2 tix and be on my merry way. It was fricking $100 for $20 tickets and $500-$600 for the $50 ones. I'm thinking good luck with that buddy if you actually think anyone is going to purchase Jonas Brothers tickets for that price. I've been checking back everyone once in a while see if anything reasonable had came up and every time I went back it seemed to get worse then before. When I checked last night someone had 12 almost front row tickets for $535 or $565 (something like that) and I'm thinking, watch that asshole end up with a bunch of stupid tickets left over. Sure enough this morning I checked the site and all 12 were gone. By the time all the service charges and everything is added that amounts to more than $7,000, some jerk just made over $5,000 (possibly more than $6,000) in profit because other people are just that stupid. It's a sad, sad day when someone pays $600 to sit in Molson Amphithatre seats. Sometimes I think the world is made up almost entirely of incredibly stupid people.

Vegas Baby!!!

Vegas was a blast!!! I would probably need to write a novel to explain just how fantastic that entire trip was. 14 women in Las Vegas for a bachelorette party is not a concept that is easy to grasp or put into manifestation, but when it happens it is definitely a once in a life time experience. We tried to do it all and it felt like we just barely got the tip of the iceberg. I can now say that I am a fully certified stripper (with a stripper license to prove it!) We went to the Bodies Exhibition which was truly exciting for me as I had missed it here in Toronto a while back and was thrilled to finally get a chance to see. I can definitely say I wasn't disappointed. The only thing is that you can't take pictures inside the exhibition (in order to protect the features (which does make sense)). If you're ever in Vegas or any city with Bodies I would highly recommend it. Since no Vegas trip is complete without a show we went to see Alicia Keys (with Jordin Sparks and Ne-Yo). They were all phenomenal!! So good that I saw the show again when it came here to Toronto. Considering that we bought our tickets like 3 hours before the show, we had pretty good seats. There was also a lot of sightseeing and partying (A LOT of partying), but that's a story for another time.

No more pain in the ass!!

So my bottom is almost completely healed and I couldn't be happier. After 6 months of having to wince every time I sit down I can now take a seat (mostly) pain free. If anyone wants to see the scar all they have to do is ask! Apparently what I had is called a perianal abscess and to be honest it was not very fun. Now that it's over and I'm free to enjoy life again (not that I really stopped (I did go to Montreal twice and Vegas for the first time while I was "suffering" from it)) I plan to enjoy it to the fullest (life that is not my ass) starting in Trinidad!!

Montreal or Bust!!

So when I hear there's going to be a severe winter storm my first thought is let's take a trip to Montreal (Duh!! Isn't' that every one's first thought). So we hear the biggest storm of the century and Dan, Kristin and I head off for Steve's 31st B-day party. So, we start out on our adventure fully prepared, we rent the car, get full insurance, full up on gas and we're on our way. The first car you see in the ditch gets you kind of antsy, but when the first car is followed immediately by a second, an overturned truck and the car in front of you spins up, antsy is no longer the word. Dan thinking out loud questions why they're ending up in the ditch and we're not and then in classic Shakespeare fashion foreshadows the day's events by telling us he thinks we'll end up in the ditch.

The first time we get stuck (trying to turn into a service station parking lot) I realize my hairstyle is probably not going to make it all the way to Montreal (honestly my biggest concern at the time). We were caravaning with Tibor and Steph and at this point I think we we're only like 30 minutes behind them (that would change!) After Dan and I fruitlessly try to get us out of the ditch a saviour comes along in the form of a very large and angry truck driver, who basically single handedly pushes the car out of the snow. A little damp we continue on our way.

Around 6:30 (by this point Kristin's been driving for almost 8 hours) we stop for some nourishment. Towards the end our meal some police officers stop in and you can hear them talking about all the stupid people (we chose to believe they we're talking about specifically the cars ending up in ditches and not just those of us on the road). We shortly thereafter head out and not even 5 minutes later we're sitting there in the ditch. To make a long story very short apparently we did not have all the insurance we thought we did and ended up being rescued by Rick the tow truck man. Rick kindly warns us that the smartest thing to do would be to get off the road for at least a couple of hours. We thank him for his help and advice and (of course) continue on our way.

We get behind a plow and think smooth sailings are ahead. We smoothly sail right of the highway onto an off ramp not realizing the plow had been getting off. We follow it to a service station to change drivers and promptly get stuck for the second time. Two plow drivers eventually come to our aid and we're off again.

Apparently, the day had not been challenging enough as the weather at this point decided to Fuck with us (I hate to swear, but there are no other words to express the extent of how awful, horrendous, just plain mean the weather became). Complete white outs. We slow to a crawl but persevere we do.

We finally make it to Montreal and happen to show up on Steve and Suzy's street at the same time as Steph and Tibor (another long story as they should have been there hours ahead of us). We're looking for parking as T decides he's going to park in the gas station parking lot and we watch in horror as he's car gets stuck. Thinking we don't want to end up in the same situation we turn at the street and go to pull a u-turn and of course we get stuck for the 3rd and final time. So although we made it to Montreal around midnight, we didn't actually get inside until after 1 am. We give Steve one of the biggest surprises I'm sure he's ever received and stayed up talking until 8 in the morning.

The big question: Was it worth it??

Abso-fricking-lutely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back to the Grind

So after 3 months I've finally made my triumphant return to work. The first day back was great, I was all excited, couldn't sleep the night before, woke up early and everything (I just about skipped into work that morning). The second day I was still kind of excited, woke up early, wore clean clothes. By day three I was back to the pressing the snooze button 3 times, wait for the second bus and drag my feet as slow as possible on the walk to the building mode (it's scary how quickly you can adapt to a routine). Although I've only been gone 3 months a lot has changed, especially the people that are working there. The staff seems to have doubled in size and as if that wasn't bad enough (having to accustom myself to people working in my designated napping areas), I appear to have forgotten half of my co-workers names. I find myself walking through the halls responding to "Hey Marie, welcome back" with "Hey You!!" or "Hi Kar *cough* *cough*" and hoping their name actually begins with Kar. What was really sweet was that the office had passed around a get-well card which I received this first week back (accompanied by a very useful gift certificate). The only down side is I can't recognize half of the signatures on the card (which is sad, cause I'm sure it would help me figure out some of the names I've forgotten). Some of my favorite quotes are: "Quit faking and get back to work", "Take your time coming back to work but get well soon" and "This time has been a welcome reprieve, but do get well soon" (you can tell they really wanted me back). Overall, I'm really glad to be back as I was starting to develop a horrible Maury addiction (and was beginning to use the phrase "You are NOT the baby's father" on a daily basis) and my cell phone bill was going through the roof.

Oh yeah, and seeing my "friends" at work again is okay too!

Pain in the ...

Okay, so I haven't felt like blogging much lately and let me explain why... This is what my day has consisted of for the past 2 weeks. I wake up around 9:30 am (you'll understand why later) I immediately pop 2 oxycodone... why you ask (great question) because in exactly one hour my torturer (more commonly referred to as a nurse) will show up. She will proceed to take a 2 foot length of salt-water soaked gauze and a giant toothpick and she will then shove that aforementioned gauze into an open wound in my "back". As much as you would hope the oxycodone would help, it really doesn't. All the oxycodone does is puts me to sleep for the next 5 hours. I wake up at 4:00 pm and spend the next 11 hours trying to get back to sleep to only fall asleep around 3:00 am. To say I'm not in the mood to write lately is an understatement. Maybe tomorrow I'll be in a better mood.

In-Salting Behaviour

My dad tells this story about when he was living in Bristol. He and his family went to visit an old family friend in Paris and for the first night a big feast was prepared. Everyone sat down at the table to eat and before grace was said or a single person served my dad asked for some salt, pepper and ketchup. He states the hostess went off on such a tangent he thought she would have a heart attack (he was also glad for the first time to not be fluent in French as her comments where not very complimentary). What he had done to offend her he couldn't understand, but my grandmother knew exactly what occurred. He had been about as rude as any diner could. To salt one's food without tasting it first is unforgivably rude. It shows a lack of confidence in the skills of the chef. Additionally, it is an insult to both the chef and the dinner's host (if they are not one and the same). There is also a bigger life lesson to be found here, the person who salts their food prior to tasting has demonstrated a closed mind. They made a decision prior to analyzing the data before them. If they do that with something as inconsequential as the food they eat what about the more important aspects of life. This is the kind of person that leaps before they look, which we all know is not always the best way to make a decision. Beware of the food salter (no offence Pops)!

Virus Alert

WORK VIRUS WARNING

There is a new virus going around, called "work." If you receive
any sort of "work" at all, whether via email, internet or simply
handed to you by a colleague...DO NOT START IT.

This has been circulating around our building for months and
those who have been tempted to open "work" or even look at
"work" have found that their social life is deleted and their
brain ceases to function properly.

If you do encounter "work" via email or are faced with any "work"
at all, then to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with
the words "I've had enough of your crap... I'm off to the pub."
The "work" should automatically be forgotten by your brain.

If you receive "work" in paper-document form, simply lift the
document and drag the "work" to your garbage can. Put on your
hat and coat and skip to the nearest bar with two friends and
order three pints of beer (or rum punch). After repeating this
action 14 times, you will find that "work" will no longer be
of any relevance to you and that "Scooby Doo" was the greatest
cartoon ever.

Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do
NOT have anyone in your address book, then I'm afraid the
"work" virus has already corrupted your life.

He's Just Not Into You - Revisited

So about a year ago I wrote this post and I have to admit it was one of my favourites. A friend of mine has questioned me on some of my assertions and so here is what I have to say. I made the statement that "If he is dating someone else he's just not into you." The main reason I think that girls have difficulty with that is for some reason we refuse to give up hope. Most girls as Suzy pointed out are willing to wait out a girlfriend under the belief that they are much better suited and eventually the guy in question will come to that realization. This false sense of hope is usually bolster by the actions of the guy in question. Guys in general are always looking for the next best thing. Even if the have the greatest thing in the world, they'll still keep an eye out for other possibilities. So he may call you or text you tease you or flirt, but at the end of the day he is still going home to someone else. The best and only option is to forget him and just move on. It's his loss not yours.

I think the biggest obstacle to recognizing that he is just not into you is a guy who possesses superficial charm. This is the guy that is super smooth and always tries to be engaging, charming, and slick. He is never shy or self-conscious and is not afraid to say anything. He is also quite cunning and manipulative and has learned exactly what to say and do to achieve his aim. He can be very difficult to identify as over the years he has managed to conceal his horns and his tail. Because he calls and remembers little details about you that may tell you he is interested but in what still needs to be determined. Taking it slow and getting to know someone is really the only way to truly decipher what a guy's interest is. For the most part the superficial charmer will not hang around too long and when he departs you should thank your lucky stars and do not even consider looking back.

There's more, but I'm tired (maybe later)

60 % of statistics are made up.....

43.7% of all statistics are made up right on the spot.
But I promise that all the ones I post are 72% authentic ;p

Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.
How do I apply for the job of the tester that watches a cat fall twenty floors??

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
And I've been telling people my nose just keeps getting bigger and bigger and was accused of the Pinocchio Syndrome.

A person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day!
I'm going to start keeping track and verify their findings

A giraffe has a 20-inch tongue.
And people think Gene Simmons is impressive!

A snail can sleep for three years.
I never thought I'd be jealous of snails!

Close to 80% of people who watch the Super Bowl on television, only do so to view the commercials.
I'm not alone!

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover may be killed in any manner desired.
For some reason I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

An adulterous Greek male was sometimes punished by the removal of his pubic hair and the insertion of a large radish into his rectum.
We really need to consider changing the laws in Canada. I don't know a single man that would be willing to cheat if such punishment existed here.

In Switzerland, it's against the law to slam your car door.
This would be my dad's favourite law. He has banned certain friends of mine from receiving rides due to too many door slamming infractions.

In Lebanon it's legal to have animal sex, but only with female animals. Animal sex with males is a capital crime.
I'm not even going to ask.

Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than Valium!
Totally unsurprised. I wonder how a pharmacist would fill out that prescription.

Women who read romance novels have sex twice as often as those who don't.
My mom loves romance novels (I think I'm going to throw up)

The average person spends 2 weeks of its life kissing.
Does that mean I've used up my quota??

If you fart constantly for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb
I think this means at the rate my dad goes he would have been able to produce at least 2 atomic bombs by now (as he gets older it only gets worse)

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
I dare you to try!

On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!
This explains so much!

Once again...

I am living on antibiotics and painkillers (thanks to a pain in my butt I don't feel like discussing) I've been pretty much laid up for the past 4 days which gave me way too much time to think (more like over think and over analyze). On the news this morning they announced that today was considered the most depressing day of the year. There was a long list of reasons. I think for most people depression is a choice. A lot of people choose to let things bother them, when in all honesty they could just let it go. I think the first time I recognized making a conscious decision was a couple of years ago when I was working the reception desk in my office. It was 8 o'clock in the morning the first customer came in and he was just miserable. He was rude and mean and uncooperative and he really tried to suck out all the energy and the positiveness I'd had to start the day. And as he walked away I remember at that moment thinking I wasn't going to let him ruin my day or affect the day of the other people I would come into contact with. I greeted the next client in line with a smile and "Good Morning" and proceeded on with my day. More recently I was truly tested on my ability to choose to not get depressed by the circumstances I'm in and to just keep moving on. About a week ago I was having a really bad day, everything that could go wrong had. I was already suffering from the pain in my butt, I got stuck at the bus station with no money and it would not accept my bank card (which it normally does), my cell phone was dying, connecting the bank used up all my daytime minutes I had left and it was way too cold outside. When I finally made it to the bank to sort out the bank card issue, I was feeling somewhat down. The teller heard me on the phone explaining to my mom exactly what had gone wrong that day and it was pretty apparent I wasn't thrilled with the service I had received from the bank so far. As I stepped up to talk to him I decided that there was no point on taking things out on him, he had nothing to do with had gone wrong and it wouldn't help me to get agitated with someone who was just trying to help. I think what truly surprised him is that after everything I had been through that afternoon is once I checked my card at the ATM and made sure everything was alright I went back and thanked him for his help. I think what I'm learning is to control my reactions regarding the situations I'm in. There's no point working myself up and getting upset when I at times have little to no control over what goes on around me other then how I choose to react.

Carry On...

I never did know when to quit. My mom has always said I was the most persistent, tenacious, (annoying) child ever. It was just never in me to give up on things. Many of my teachers can attest to this as I sure 30% of the "A"s I ended up with started as "B"s. I can't honestly think of anything I've ever truly wanted or needed that I've given up on. I've consider it at times, but usually due to external pressures. Some times it really is a challenge to keep going knowing that there are so many obstacles there are ahead, but knowing that what I want is rarely ever simply handed over I carry on.

You Named It What!!!

Gotta be

This is my favourite song of all time. This will be my wedding song, it's the song I've played for every broken heart, the song I sing in the shower, I could probably sing it backwards if I had to. Last year I saw Jagged Edge in concert for the first time and it had to be one of the greatest moments of my life. This is and always will be MY SONG!

Him

He's that guy that would bring a smile to your face just by thinking about him. He's the one that you would call and tell all your secrets to. The one you wanted to fall asleep on the phone with, so his would be the last voice you heard before you fell asleep and the first when you woke up. Your first kiss, your first love, your first everything. The guy you measure every other man against. The one you gave the key to your heart to and never got it back. The one that every time the phone rings, there's a knock on the door, the one new message in your inbox, you hope it's him. The one that made you feel beautiful in your sweats and tee. He's your Prince Charming...

Queen for the day

Today I was proclaimed The Queen of the Office. It was quite an honour, which I accepted most graciously. As I was making my good morning round about the office a co-worker informed me she had left something at my desk for me to wear today. I was pleasantly surprised to find a crown sitting on my desk. She stopped by to say she had gotten the crown and a party and brought it in and was trying to decide who to give it to but it was an easy decision as I am so obviously The Queen of the office. It was a beautiful crown, silver with feathers and very shiny. I wore it proudly around the office all day. At times I would forget I was wearing it and wonder what people were staring at (you would think by now I would be accustom to people staring at me (no, I'm not conceited (OKAY, maybe just a little))). One co-worker took the crown to mean I've had a total psychotic breakdown. I don't think anyone was quite as startled by the crown as my father (whose exact words I believe were, "what is that sh*t on your head???) as we both had doctors appointments this afternoon, he was giving me a ride there and refused to let me leave the car with the crown. If I'd known wearing a crown garners as much attention as it did today, I would have started wearing one years ago.

Still waiting...

I have to admit that someone disappointed me lately and I'm not quite sure why I am so surprised they did. I confided some things to a friend of mine (I'll call him Mikey) and it wasn't because I wanted an apology or to somehow change the past, I just felt like sharing it (just in one of those moods), so I sent off an email not really expecting a response, but just glad to get it off my chest. To my delight he called and we discussed things and I was truly excited by the prospect of a new beginning. It was probably also really good to get his insight and opinions on different situations. We made some decisions and so far he has failed to follow through. I guess I can only wait and see.

Say Anything...

In the movie Say Anything John Cusack sends his love interest this really great letter, it was very sweet and romantic (the kind of letter all teenage girls want from their boyfriends but never get). Before she gets the letter she breaks up with him and he of course is hurt and crushed. He tries repeatedly to call her and only gets the answering machine and finally he leaves her this message, "Maybe I didn't really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we're all just hurling towards an apocalypse, in which case it's not your fault. I'm been thinking about all these things and... you're probably standing there monitoring. And one more thing - about the letter. Nuke it. Flame it. Destroy it. - It hurts me to know it's out there. Later." Sometimes I really feel like saying that to people. The maybe I don't really know you and you were just a mirage. Or asking them to forget or erase different things I've said or done or written. For them to nuke it, flame it, just destroy because it really does hurt to know it's out there in the world.

Someone once told me...

You can't step over the same river twice. It was in regards to an "opportunity" that I would be passing up. In my youthful ignorance I laughed in there face and said not only would I be able to step over it twice but a million times because the river would always there waiting for me. I went back to the river recently expecting it to be unchanged, like a moment frozen in time. I could not have been more wrong, the river had grown and changed and apparently forgotten me. I realized I had crossed too quickly when first I went this way and not taken the time to recognize it's beauty or appreciate it's peacefulness. I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dripped it carelessly. I didn't know, I held opportunity.

Hard to explain

I'm not a touchy person. I like to believe that for the most part I let things roll of my back. In general I would say it takes a lot to offend me (I mean A LOT). During the course of my work, I listen to peoples stories and hear their sides or perspectives of things and admittedly at times they say things that are not the most appropriate (especially in regards to other ethnic groups). Today someone said something and it was in such a deregatory manner I couldn't help but take offense. When you have no idea of whose on the other line of the phone, I can't imagine why people feel as comfortable to say the things they do. What he said wasn't super horrible or hateful, it was just rude and ignornant. To be honest I'm still kind of shocked. He stated a stereotype as fact and it just really bothered me. That's all I have to say on that for now.

2008 the "Big Picture"

There's a lot planned for this year. I'm not going to say I have resolutions, but I do have things I would like to get done. Leslie has said that to be included in my list is travelling with Leslie. This means for sure this year I'm either heading to Australia or the Philippines. There is also a family reunion in Trinidad, which my father has decided to turn into a real vacation (of the all-inclusive variety). Both items mean a lot of time on the beach. That in turn brings out the requirement for a beach body. In the never ending chain reaction that means diet and exercise. Diet and exercise results in a grumpy but good looking me. So it looks like for the next 5months there will be a lot of running. School starts again tonight I'm on the path for my first university "A". The goal for the next school year is to go back to full time student status (for some reason it's not quite as impressive when I say I work full time and I'm a part time student). That will require money, which will require overtime, which again results in a grumpy me. To the dismay of many (many = my psychiatrist and jeweller)I've decided to retreat from the world of relationships (I'm not quite sure what this means yet, when I figure it out I'll let you know). So here it is:


- Travel with Leslie (Australia and/or Philippines)
- Earn lots of money (Overtime)
- Vacation with family (Trinidad and Margarita)
- Develop beach body (Eat right and exercise)
- Focus on school (Full time student status)
- No more boys (unless I'm really bored)
- Not became a grumpy bitch (haven't figured out how to achieve that one yet)
- Marry Rich (if the opportunity presents itself)
- Record a hit album (again, if the opportunity presents itself)

Most importantly I will endeavor to not kill anyone regardless of how much they are asking for it.